- Arts & Literature
- Science & Technology
By Charles Walmsley
So apparently there’s a boat race today. Who knew? Anyway we’re no experts on rowing (i.e. it’s pretty boring) but then neither is Mike Tyson, and Oxford captain Karl Hudspith is using him to inspire the crew (really?) to win the race for a second successive year. I should probably point out that my experience with gambling amounts to once signing up to Bet365 because you can watch Italian football there and never having the nerve to actually place real money on anything. So this should be interesting.
Oxford are the favourites but this means there are no good odds for them to win, with 43/100 on betfair the best I could find, which hardly seems worth it. On the other hand Cambridge seem to have nearly universal odds of 2/1, so they may be worth a punt (gettit?) if you don’t mind losing money. Ladbrokes have 200/1 on a dead heat, but that’s not going to happen.
Outside of this the odds become a little more obscure, with Betfair and Ladbrokes once again offering the best odds at 24/1 and 25/1 respectively for the winning time breaking the record of 16m 19s. Given that the record has stood since 1998 a change is due so I’m going to stick my neck out and say the winners will 100% definitely set a new fastest time. After this the race margins turn into different numbers depending on the betting site and I can’t be bothered to go through them, but anything around three seems pretty good, with Coral and Paddy Power offering 1 (so double your money I think) if Oxford win by that much.
Cambridge are the heavier of the two crews and I’m assuming too much weight could make the boat sink so my TOP TIP is 33/1 at Ladbrokes for their boat to go down like Andrew Lansley in a hospital (weak, I know). However 250/1 for both ships to sink in the Thames seems a little too good to be true so I wouldn’t recommend betting on that.
As for disqualification, the Oxford crew are being guided by the (spiritual) presence of Mike ‘my main aim is to be professional but to kill him’ Tyson so expect some form of cheating/violence/misogyny. I’d go for biting Cambridge ears before the race, or possibly during, in what would be the most exciting boat race since Detective McNulty captained the team in 1987. Of course betting outlets aren’t so specific so you’ll have to just bet on them being disqualified, which is 25/1 at Ladbrokes. Probably at other places too, I can’t be bothered to look.
Before the race
Of course you want the day to start well, so why not bet on the coin toss? Seriously StanJames (nope, me neither) are offering 1/1 odds on who will guess heads or tails correctly. That’s literally a 50/50 act of luck which you can gamble real money on. You might as well bet on the number of corners in a football match. Oh…wait yeah.
You can also bet on where they choose to start but you’d probably have to know stuff to win on that so I’m not going to bother. I also don’t care.
So there you have it, the OxStu guide to
throwing your loan away paying off all your debts. Send any winnings to:
Agony Lad’s Beer Fund
He’d appreciate it.