Porn star denied JCR presidency

Porn star denied JCR presidency

Tom Cruise, Jenna Jameson and Pete the Porter may seem like an unlikely trio, but they were lumped together this week as Teddy Hall JCR voted on whether they might be theoretically allowed to run for JCR President.

As part of the College’s constitutional clear-up this week, the JCR inadvertently denied themselves the opportunity of being led by any of these great figures of modern society that have been voted in as Honorary Members.

The list of Honorary Members includes the aforementioned trio, along with J K Rowling, Kylie Minogue and Jeremy Paxman, as well as former barmen of Teddy Hall, Mikey and Clive, and Jules Allfrey, an ex-Teddy Hall rugby blue, who played at inside centre.

A unanimously passed motion ruled to deny Honorary Members the entitlement to stand for positions within the JCR Committee, as well as removing voting rights in JCR elections.

One member of the Teddy Hall JCR said: “I’m physically and emotionally distraught about what has just happened. We’ve just denied ourselves Jenna Jameson, the world’s greatest pornstar, flaunting her leadership skills here in our own common room.”

He went on to admit, however, that he had not been present at the JCR Meeting because he had been “too busy admiring some of Jenna’s equally buxom contemporaries”.

The constitution now reads: “Only Full Members (excluding Honorary Members) of the JCR may hold office.”

Margery Inifield, Teddy Hall JCR President, commented: “I am pleased that the constitutional ambiguity has been cleared up. It is appropriate that Honorary Members are able to vote in JCR meetings, but that Committee positions and voting rights are reserved for Full Members of the JCR.”

Before the meeting, however, Inifield had indicated that she was open to amendments to the motion, saying: “The purpose of the motion is to get rid of the current ambiguity: if the motion gets amended to allow Honorary Members to hold office or vote in elections, it will still achieve that goal.”

Sam Cheam, a student at Teddy Hall, however, appeared disappointed that such an amendment had not been brought in, saying: “I’m disappointed that Ahmed the Kebab Man, or the server at Olives, will be denied the opportunity to run our JCR.” When asked whether he felt the same way about Tom Cruise, he was less enthusiastic: “It’s never going to happen.”

Honorary Members of the JCR will still be able to vote for motions in JCR meetings. The Teddy Hall JCR website explains that “Honorary Membership can be given to anyone by a motion in a general meeting”.

This follows a similar line to various colleges throughout Oxford. Homer Simpson holds the privilege of honorary membership of Worcester College JCR, with the accompanying motion proposed in 1999 explaining that “Worcester College has a dearth of banana coloured people among its members” and that it was believed “he would benefit greatly from an Oxford education”.

Worcester also elected Houssain as an honourary member in 2001 “in respect of his record and standing as a purveyor of fine quality kebabs and condiments to the members of Worcester JCR”.

Honorary Members at St John’s include The Mr Men, Barack Obama and Gandalf the Grey, as well as Abdullah Ocalan, one of the founding members of the Kurdistan Workers’ Party in 1978.

The St John’s constitution states that any person can become an Honorary Member so long as a proposal is “submitted to the Secretary at least 48 hours before a General Meeting, accompanied by a petition signed by at least 40 full members”.

Jenna Jameson was unavailable for comment.

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2 Responses to "Porn star denied JCR presidency"

  1. Chris  22/01/2013 at 09:28

    The world’s greatest porn star – how are these things measured?

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  2. Alex  24/01/2013 at 23:16

    Sam, ‘the server at Olives’?

    He is far more than just a server. He is an artist. He has a name, and his name is Cristophe.

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